Some individuals, some people, some whole cultures seem to enjoy complaining. It used to be said that 'colonial cultures' loved complaining, since there was very little else that anyone could do. Someone else had all the power and was running the country, so complaint was the only available activity. Children often find themselves in the same position. Why is complaining so enjoyable? There are a number of possible reasons, and readers will be able to find more.
COMPLAINING IS NECESSARY
There are many times when complaining is necessary in order to get changes, in order to get an improvement in services, etc. There is no reason why people should put up with inferior service just because they do not like to complain. Complaints are often surprisingly effective in getting changes made. Management does respond to complaints - often disproportionately. Someone in a seminar complains that it is too cold. The temperature is raised, and all the other one hundred and ninety nine people, who were comfortable and did not complain, now feel too hot.
COMPLAINING IS EASY AND CHEAP
Criticism and complaint are the easiest form of intellectual activity. It has always amazed me that we esteem this activity so highly. Those who are not capable of either constructive or creative thought must exert their intelligence in the direction of complaint. Unlike constructive thinking, where you have to get the 'whole' to work, complaint can focus on just one detail. The huge building is beautiful and functions well - so why not complain about the door handles?
COMPLAINING IS CONSTRUCTIVE
If you point out what is wrong, this means that you really consider the rest to be fine, and wish to make things even finer by suggesting an improvement in some small part that is not as fine as the rest. This is the theoretical justification put forward for complaint and criticism. Everyone knows that in real life this is very, very rarely the case.
SOMETHING IS NOT AS YOU WOULD LIKE
If someone overcooks the toast for you, then you have some right to point this out and to indicate how you prefer the toast to be cooked. If you walk past someone's garden and see some dahlias you do not like - do you have an equal right to complain, or should you mind your own business?
That person is growing a garden according to his or her taste - not yours. Is the Internet a garden or a piece of toast? Because the Internet is public, are you entitled to complain about what you see, or should you just pass on, stay away, and mind your own business?
IT CAN NEVER BE RIGHT
If you are minded to complain, because your ego needs this sort of exercise, nothing can ever be right. If you wear sombre colours, that is gloomy and boring. If you wear bright colours, that is vulgar and ostentatious. Anything in-between is nondescript.
COMPLAINING AND EGO NEEDS
As most people know, the main driver behind complaints (other than fully justified ones) is 'ego need'. Someone needs to be noticed. Someone needs to contribute. Someone needs to feel superior. Someone needs to exercise their mind. What is perhaps surprising is that this is often so very obvious, yet people go on doing it.
THE DOG SHOW EFFECT
You wander around the dog show. You stop opposite some terriers and complain that 'they are miserable specimens of Great Danes'. Then you wander along and stop opposite some deerhounds: 'Look at those overgrown terriers'. You continue on your way and find a bloodhound: 'That must be the ugliest beagle I have ever seen'. It is all rather different if you see things for what they are really supposed to be. It is not much use complaining that a mountain hut does not have hot and cold running water and gold plated taps. It is not much use complaining that programmes designed to teach four-year-olds to think are not 'academic' enough. Always keep the dog show effect in mind. Something is supposed to be what it is supposed to be - not what you think it ought to be.
IF YOU ARE SO INCLINED
You could go through the Lord's Prayer and criticise almost every word and phrase - if you are so inclined. Why 'father' and not 'mother'? Why in 'heaven' when there is greater need on earth? Why wait for a new 'kingdom' instead of making the best of this one? Why throw away free will by subjugating yourself to another will? etc., etc., etc.
THE NEED TO SHOW VALUE
Too many people believe that thinking is only for problem-solving. Many people prefer problem-solving to any other sort of thinking. The reason is that with a 'problem' it is easy to show value in the thinking. The problem is there - there is a negative. You solve the problem. You remove the negative. So you have immediately and automatically created value.
Contrast this with 'design'. You think you have designed a better car. How do you know it is better? Is that just your opinion? What tests will have to be done? It is easy to see why problem-solving promises instant value and success in thinking. Success in solving an arithmetic problem in school is more easily definable than writing a good essay. In a similar way, by complaining and showing some 'deficiency', we can demonstrate the power of our thinking by putting that deficiency right. If you complain that the food does not have enough salt, then you create value just by adding more salt.
The obvious danger with this sort of thinking is that we just get into a 'complacency and maintenance mode'. We use our thinking just for putting defects right. Yet the biggest successes of thinking are new ideas, initiatives and new ventures - not just maintenance.
INVOLVEMENT AND CONTRIBUTION
At meetings people very often use the 'black hat' simply because it is the easiest hat to use. You want to be involved. You want to contribute so you come up with some 'caution' remark: 'Yes, this may work but...'. It is usually possible to imagine special circumstances under which something might not work. Socrates (a father of Western thinking) did this the whole time. In order to prove someone wrong, he would invent the most abstruse circumstances and say: 'now, would it hold under those circumstances?'. To this day, philosophers do this all the time. That is because they deal in absolutes. If you can show just one situation where something does not hold, then the absolute is punctured. Most other people deal in realities.
COMPLAINING IS A VOTE OF CONFIDENCE
The paradox is that complaining is a sort of vote of confidence in the party complained about. This might surprise many habitual complainers. The complainer is really saying: 'I have full confidence that if I point out this defect or problem you are perfectly capable of putting it right'. That is the sort of complaint a child would make. If you know that the other party could never get it right, what is the point of complaining? It is important to distinguish between complaint and protest. Protest has the intention, not of putting things right, but of 'changing the regime'.
CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM
Here the complainer does not just complain, but actually offers a solution or a better way of doing things. A solution to a perceived problem should always be welcome. A 'better way' to do something is more open to question. Better in whose eyes? If an editor of one of my books says that a passage is unclear, then I have an obligation to rewrite that passage. If an editor says that she would put something differently - then I point out that I am writing the book. Unless the 'better way' is very obviously better, then the cost and hassle of change may mean that it is not worth doing. It may also be a matter of preference - like the toast.
COMPLAINT AS A HABIT OF MIND
Complaint is a valuable and sometimes fully justifiable part of thinking. The brakes are an essential and fully justifiable part of a motor car. But you would not get very far on brakes alone. You need an engine, you need an accelerator, and you need a steering wheel. What is unfortunate is that many potentially good thinkers get fully stuck in the 'complaint' mode because it is enjoyable, because it is so much easier than any other form of thinking, and because of ego need. That complaining can be fully justified is indicated by this piece - in which I complain about complainers.
VALUE SENSITIVITY
As I have indicated elsewhere, we need to develop a value sensitivity to match our critical sensitivity:
'If I were doing this, I would do it differently, but I do see the value in this approach...'.
'I think the reason why it is done like this is...'.
'It may seem unsatisfactory but there are these values...'.
Once you appreciate that a mountain hut does not have gold taps because they are expensive and easy to steal, then you stop complaining about the lack of gold taps. Better that you have steel taps that work than gold taps which are not there because they have been stolen. Looking for value can become just as enjoyable as looking for problems.
